As Eagles

Remember that spark of excitement when you where young?  When we believed that nothing was impossible.  We believed we could explore space, be president, invent the cure for cancer - we could do anything.

It reminds me of the scripture in Genesis 11:6b where God said:

...Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do : and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do

God says there is much power in the imagination/dreams of men - so much so that he found it prudent, at that time, to separate men by dividing their languages.  

If, as God says, we can do anything that we imagine, why don't we?  I believe that lies creep in and we accept them to protect our fragile egos from disappointments, hurts, failures and rejections.  These lies prevent us from trying again and take the place of those God-planted-dreams and imaginations.  

Those lies (you can't do that, you are a failure, that won't work, no one will support you, no one will listen to you, no one wants to hear you, you aren't good enough, you'll just screw it up) beat us down to keep us from trying and limit what God can do through us and also the plan he has for our lives.  Do those lies sound familiar?   They sound to me like the same sort of things an abusive spouse or parent might tell an abused person to keep them under their control.  

The enemy, like an abuser, would like to keep you isolated and convinced that you cannot do what God has created you to do - that you are not able to carry out the plan he has for your life.

But God says, do not listen to the enemy - not in our own stregth, but in God's strength and might.  Trust in him, lean on him.  Isaiah 40:28 - 31:

Have you not known? Have you not heard?The Lord is the everlasting God,    the Creator of the ends of the earth.He does not faint or grow weary;    his understanding is unsearchable.²⁹ He gives power to the faint,    and to him who has no might he increases strength.³⁰ Even youths shall faint and be weary,    and young men shall fall exhausted;³¹ but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary;    they shall walk and not faint.

What's in the Pantry

About once a month I drive to Maryland from North Carolina to work from my parents home and spend time with them. I can cook for them, talk with them, organize things and just take care of in person those things you cannot fix over the phone.

One of the tasks I assign myself is to go through the food cabinet, that I call the pantry, and organize it; throwing out old and moth infested items. My mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about two years ago has a bent toward buying too many of certain things. I would use the word "hoard" but she is far from that, although without my father fighting against it his entire life and me the past few years it could have easily happened.

Cleaning the pantry the first time was overwhelming - it was filled to the brim with bulging and exploded cans, bags and boxes of items that were infested with moths and moth casings. It took an entire day to clean the cabinet, dispose of the items, organize what remained into labeled plastic baskets. When I was finished it was beautiful! I gave my parents a tour of where each type of food could be found: soup, vegetables, tuna, etc.

The next month on my visit, I opened the cabinet door and it was like one of those nightmares you have where you close the door and you've traveled back in time to before you did all the work. There were things stuffed everywhere - even dishes! The only difference was there were no exploded or bulging cans. I set to work and organized again. Now, every time I visit, I go through the same task, with more surprises revealed on each visit. If I get there every month, I can generally keep control, but if I miss a month it quickly gets out of control and takes much more work.

On this trip, as I was organizing it occurred to me that our lives are much like the pantry. We pile up "stuff" out of fear that we will need it, that we will run out, that we won't have enough. Then we have so much:

• We cannot see, find, or get to what we already have.
• We cannot afford to help those who need help.
• We cannot afford to take care of a real emergency when it occurs.
• What we have goes bad before we get a chance to use it
• We are so concentrated on taking care of our things we do not notice those in need around us who are really in need.

I'm cleaning my parent's pantry again this month. But I'm emptying my personal pantry so I can focus on others instead of me.

Blogging as Community

It struck me tonight how bizzare a form of communication is blogging. It seems to me that society is segregated and individualistic these days. Most of us do not know who our neighbors are.

I grew up in a small rural community that was fifty years behind times. We were one of the few homes with indoor plumbing and we didn't have a telephone until I was in high school. But we knew and/or were related to everyone in the community. Neighbors walked into your house without knocking...we just yelled as we entered. We visited neighbors on a regular, almost daily basis. We ate dinner each night at the table, without the tv on and we talked to one another. When a family was having financial problems or was short handed, everyone pitched in to help or dropped off things to help (food, blankets, animals, etc.).

When my great-grandfather needed to butcher his hogs, the neighborhood and family gathered for the day to do the chore. The day was wonderful to a child like me. It was a huge social event, listening to the women talk, the men laughing, everyone sitting down to eat together, and all us kids running and playing together. All the helpers took some sausage or pork home with them, and my great-grandfather got his pork butchered for the season.

I've lived in my house for over six years. I've never been in any of my neighbors' houses. I only know the names or have the phone numbers of one of my neighbors. It just struck me how strange and funny it is that I isolate myself in so many ways, and then I write about things that matter to me and post it so that anyone can read it.

We people are indeed strange creatures.

Bug Bite Bedlam!

I have always loved old people. They are founts of wisdom and experience and usually so willing to share all that they know. After this weekend I may change my mind.

My Dad was in the hospital for eight days with mysterious symptoms. He was very weak, a high fever, chills so bad that his body shook, an elevated white blood cell count, and it all stumped the doctors.

When they couldn't figure out what it was, they were ready to call it a virus and send him home. He broke out in wracking chills and they couldn't release him. After eight days they determined that he had Lymes Disease, from the bite of a deer tick. Since it has affected his liver (with four abscesses) he has probably had it for over a year. The antibiotic has started to kick in and now his energy is returning and he is feeling well enough to antagonize everyone and complain.

There were several times yesterday where I wanted to say things I've never even thought before. It amazes me how you can go from fear of loosing someone in a few days to considering throwing their old butt into a nursing home!!! I'm actually glad to see him feeling feisty. Of course, I drove home last night...and it is five hours away. :-)

The Birthday Continues

This year for my birthday, I invited the women from my church over to help me celebrate. I was really using it as an opportunity to get the women to open up and get to know each other more, or maybe I wanted to get to know them more, or maybe I wanted them to know me more. Anyway, we got to know each other in ways I had no way of knowing I would know them.



Within fifteen minutes of the arrival of one guest, a pot on the stove burst into flames on the stove, while we were admiring my newly renovated bathroom. Thanks to the piercing sounds of my smoke detector and a strategically placed extinguisher, we were able to put it out rather quickly. However, not before it had destroyed my range hood, damaged the stove, burned the cabinets and completely filled the house with smoke. I respect fire!

The church women descended with mops, brooms, cloths, buckets, and cleaned so that the party could take place. It was amazing. I was in shock for the most part.


I have planned on renovating my kitchen in a few years. My timetable was moved up without consulting me.